I struggled for a while, but then I came to a realization
Thứ Hai, 25 tháng 1, 2021
4 men are in the hospital waiting rooms, because their wives are having babies.
A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations, you’re a father of twins.”
The man says, “That’s a crazy coincidence, because I work for the Minnesota Twins.”
The nurse says to the second guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father of triplets.”
The man says, “That’s a crazy coincidence, I work for the 3M Company.”
The nurse tells the third guy, “Congratulations, you’re the father of quadruplets.”
The man says, “That’s a crazy coincidence, I work for the four seasons hotel.”
The last man is freaking out and banging his head against the wall.
The nurse asks him, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
He replies, “No, I’m screwed! I work for 7UP.”
So a black guy and a Latino guy and an Asian guy are all walking together!
A man walks up to them with a knife and says “if your dick sizes don’t add up to 20 inches, then you’re all getting stabbed”. The black guy pulls it out and it’s 12 inches. The Latino guy pulls it out and it’s 7 inches. The Asian guys pulls it out and it’s 1 inch. The man with the knife says “you’re all very lucky” and walks off.
After the man walks away, the black guy says “you guys are lucky I’m black”.
The Latino guy then says “you guys are lucky I’m Latino”.
The Asian guy then says “you guys are lucky I had a boner”.
I got fired today because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable
It seems they have strict safety protocols about what you’re allowed to do with the COVID patients
A rude man walks into the bank and tells the teller: "I want to open a fucking checking account." (nsfw)
The teller, upset, says "We don't tolerate language like that here."
The man asks "What's the fucking problem? It's not like anyone really gives a shit!"
The teller then leaves without a word, to go and speak to the manager about how to deal with this man. The manager, hearing the story, goes back to the man to see what the problem is.
After asking the man, he responds with " There is no fucking problem. All I wanna do is cash my 10 million dollar check from winning the lottery and then put it in this goddamn bank!"
The manager responds with "Oh, and is this bitch over here giving you any problems, sir?"
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