How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?

No one knows. They never get to keep the house.

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They say makeup sex is the best sex

But I can’t even get my dick in the mascara bottle

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Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.

The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "

The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."

The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."

They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay escort who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."

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I remember one day I was at my Grandpa’s farm and I asked him about sex. He sort of smiled and said, “instead of asking me what sex is, why don’t you go out to the horse pasture. You'll see what sex is”

so i did, and there on the ground were my parents having sex.

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My dad told me once, son, stay out of strip clubs or you might see something you shouldn't. So of course, I went, and he was right.

I saw my dad

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My friends say there's a gay guy in our circle of friends

I really hope it's Todd, he's cute.

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My girlfriend dumped me after my grandma had a stroke last night.

She said it was disgusting to let my grandma touch me like that.

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