I told her, "No, I've dressed like this for quite a while."
Thứ Năm, 4 tháng 2, 2021
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?
The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."
The rabbi then asked him, "Have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"
The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith and made love to a woman."
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats a fucking ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
A gas station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Every Fill-Up.”
Rob pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and said that if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Rob said "today is my birthday, i'm feeling LUCKY and I guess 8".
The owner said, “You were very close, the lucky number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”
A week later, Rob, with his friend Marvin, pulled in for another fill-up. Again Rob asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Rob guessed 2. The proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 3, you were very close, but no free sex this time.”
As they were driving away, Marvin said to Rob, “I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex at all.”
Rob replied, “No it’s genuine enough Marvin. My wife won twice last week.”
The airplane was filled with people to the last seat, everyone was waiting for the pilot and co-pilot to arrive.
Finally they come. The people can see them through the windows, they get inside the plane and the passengers are freaked out. Both pilot and co-pilot are wearing blindfolds marking them as blind, have white canes with them and dark sunglasses. The people freak out a bit, but after both of them get into the cockpit and start the plane, they calm down and are convinced it was just a stupid joke. So the plane starts rolling, and rolling and rolling on the runway. This airport runway is ending at a cliff, and the plane approaches it and doesn't seem to make any attempts to start. The people start screaming in panic, in this moment the plane takes off into the sky and everyone calms down. In the cockpit the co-pilot turns to the pilot and grumbles: "You know, one day they're going to scream too late, and we're all going to die."
An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.
The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”
The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 100 question math test which she took, and the score shows that she got them all right. “It took me two months to do this, and I got them all right on the first try!!”
“Oh you make me laugh” the science teacher says. He then pulls out a robot that he built which can do laundry, walk the dog, and shoot lasers out of its eyes. “Took me three months to build this beauty, watch and weep...”
Then the gym teacher comes laughing at all three of them. “You’re all idiots” He says. “Clearly I’m the smartest of you guys.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” The science teacher says.
“Because I didn’t have to do any of that, and I still get paid the same as you!”
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