A rural farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called. After...

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John Smith was the only Protestant to move into the large Catholic neighborhood.

On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday during Lent. On the last Friday of Lent the neighborhood men got together and decided that something just HAD to be done about John, he was just tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to try and convert him to be Catholic. They went over and talked with him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors...

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A Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a Preacher baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the Preacher... The Preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?' The drunk shouts, ' Hicc..yes, I am.' So the Preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't found Jesus.' The Preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him Into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and...

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A big city doctor visits an indigenous tribe of only men

He asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. The leader of the tribe says "Since you're our guest you get to go first.". The doctor not wanting to go against their customs starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. 15 min pass, then one of the tribeman in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."...

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A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood

The nurse asks, what's your blood type? The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"...

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The nurse hands a man his newborn and says "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."

He responds "well give me the one my wife made."...

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I failed my Greek Mythology exam.

It has always been my Achilles' elbow...

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