People always asked me how I could tell them apart. Simple:
Jane paints her nails purple. John has a cock....
Thứ Tư, 10 tháng 2, 2021
She went missing !
Husband: My wife is missing. She went mountain biking yesterday and has not come home!
Officer: Age?
Husband: I'm not sure. Somewhere between 25 and 35. We don't do birthdays.
Officer: Height?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
OFFICER : Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
OFFICER : Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think.
OFFICER : Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember.
OFFICER : What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt...
While in China, an American man is sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. After two days, the doctor tells him, “I’ve got bad news for you, you have contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here in the US. We know very little about it."
The man perplexed asks, "Well,...
Al, Ben, Carl, and Dan meet at a bar every Saturday.
Dan is exceptionally optimistic. Every time one of the other three mentions something bad, Dan simply responds, "Could be worse!" This really drives them up a wall.
One Friday when Al returns home from a business trip, he, Ben, and Carl hatch a plan.
The next day Carl goes to the bar alone. "Hey," says Dan, "where's Al and Ben?"
"It's a sad story," pretends Carl. "Yesterday, when Al returned home, he found Ben in bed with his wife. He was so angry at them that he shot and killed them both. Then, realizing what he had done, he shot and killed himself."
As...
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