she gets up and apologizes again. Before she can have a third go, her boyfriend gets up and goes to walk out saying “yeah this isn’t really for me, I’m not having 67 more of those in my face”
Thứ Năm, 11 tháng 2, 2021
Two Army paratrooper recruits are talking about their first time jumping out of a plane.
FNG 1: How was your first jump today?
FNG 2: Well... I stood in front of the open door looking at the Earth flying by and turned to the Jump Master telling him that I couldn't do it. The JM said if I don't jump then he would fuck me in the ass.
FNG 1: Did you Jump???
FNG 2: A little, at first.
Tom wants a job as a signalman on the railways.
He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
To find out how Tom would react under pressure, the inspector asks him: "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?"
Tom says, "I would switch one train onto the other track, thus averting a disaster."
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Well, I'd run down to the tracks and activate the manual lever," said Tom.
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
"Then," Tom continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
"Well in that case," persevered Tom, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there."
"What if the public phone was on fire?"
"Oh well, then I'd run into town and get my uncle Bill."
This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Is he in the fire department?"
"No. He's never seen a train crash."
Thứ Tư, 10 tháng 2, 2021
A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?
She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking a day off tomorrow so I can be home, just incase this guy shows up again." The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door. The husband whisperes to the wife, "Honey, im going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he's going with this." She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, "Do you have a Vagina?" "Yes I do." says the lady. The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?
"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.
When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.
When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.
When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Rolls Royce.
Wow,” I said. “That’s an amazing car.”
He replied, “If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year!”
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