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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Hai, 15 tháng 2, 2021

The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.

The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.

“In front of you”?”, he asks, shyly.

The nurse says, “Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.”

The patient said, “Not one like mine. You would die laughing at my naked body.”

“Of course, I won't laugh.”, said the nurse to the patient. I am a professional. In over twenty years, I have never laughed at a patient.”

“Okay then”, said the patient and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with a the smallest adult male organ , the nurse had ever seen in her life.

In length and width, it was almost identical to a AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.

And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the patient's private part, she composed herself, as well as she could.

“I am so sorry”, the nurse said. “I do not know what came over to me. On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?”

“It's swollen”, the patient replied.

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."

"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."

A Protestant missionary is in India trying to convert Hindus to Christianity

He teaches a Hindu man about Christianity and gives him a Bible.

He comes back a week later and sees a picture of the pope among all the other gods at the man's house.

"Why do you have a picture of the pope there?"

"Isn't he the reincarnation of Jesus?"

The missionary told him that Catholicism isn't as good as protestantism, and he should take the picture down, then left.

The missionary came back a week later and the picture had been replaced with a picture of his pastor.

"Why do you have a picture of my pastor there?"

"Isn't he the reincarnation of Jesus?"

The missionary explained that Jesus wasn't reincarnated, gave him a cross to put there instead, then left.

The missionary came back a week later and saw that the picture had been replaced with a Roman soldier.

"Why do you have a picture of a Roman soldier there?"

"I was confused about the cross, so I read about it. You never told me your god was defeated."

I tripped over my girlfriends bra.

I think it was a booby trap..

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

The man replies, “I am on my way to attend a lecture about gambling, hookers, alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking, and staying out late.”

The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man replies, “That would be my wife.”

Chủ Nhật, 14 tháng 2, 2021

3 men standing in front of the gates of heaven

Peter says: "Sorry guys. We're closed." "But Peter.. We're dead. You have to let us in." Peter: "I'll make you a deal: If the story of how you died is awesome, I'll let you in."

So the first man begins to tell his story: "I am an attorney and I work every day from 6am to 8pm but THIS TIME I decided to go home an hour early because I don't trust my wife. I was thinking she's having sex with another man. So I drove home as fast as I could and ran to the elevator because our apartment is ON THE 7th FlOOR. When I entered our apartment I saw my wife laying on our bed NAKED. I KNEW IT. I searched and searched for that motherf*cker but I couldn't find him. I went on our balcony to have a smoke and suddenly I saw a man hanging on the railing. I took my shoe and hit him on the fingers, he fell, but the trees catched him so he survived. We have a little fridge on the balcony. So I took it and threw it after him. I caught my foot on the cable of the fridge so I flew right with it off the balcony. Now I'm here."

"Awesome story, bro. Come on in." says Peter

The second guy tells his story: "I work as a window cleaner and that day I was cleaning windows on the 8th floor of a high-rise building. While cleaning I fell down but was just able to hold onto the railing of a balcony ON THE 7TH FLOOR.... ...

Suddenly some Idiot hit me on my fingers with his shoes. I fell into the trees, I looked up - FRIDGE, DEAD. Now I'm here"

"Awesome story, bro. Come on in. And what's your story?" Peter asks the third man.

"Im not quite sure how to say this. I was sitting butt naked in that fridge-..."

A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife.

He asked me “Ain’t she beautiful?”

I said “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my wife”

He replied with “ Why, is she a stunner as well?”

I said “ No, she’s an optician”

Credit: not mine but i can’t remember where I saw it