I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.
Thứ Hai, 15 tháng 2, 2021
A Practical Decision
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great, but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. So, the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five-incher before and get a nine-incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to invest in a five-incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes," says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite counter tops."
The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.
The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor.
“In front of you”?”, he asks, shyly.
The nurse says, “Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.”
The patient said, “Not one like mine. You would die laughing at my naked body.”
“Of course, I won't laugh.”, said the nurse to the patient. I am a professional. In over twenty years, I have never laughed at a patient.”
“Okay then”, said the patient and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with a the smallest adult male organ , the nurse had ever seen in her life.
In length and width, it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.
And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the patient's private part, she composed herself, as well as she could.
“I am so sorry”, the nurse said. “I do not know what came over to me. On my honour as a nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?”
“It's swollen”, the patient replied.
A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"
The kid ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"
The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."
"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."
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