How do you tie two Hondas together?

...with Accord

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I yelled "COW!" at a woman on bike

I yelled "COW!" at a woman in a bike, she flipped me off and then ran straight into the cow.

I tried!

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Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?

When he asked him who the best composer was, they replied, "Bach Bach Bach"

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Girl, are you Gorilla Glue?

Cause I can’t get you out of my head.

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My friend claims he can print a Gun using his 3D Printer. I'm not impressed.

I've had a Canon printer for years.

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Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not a c?

Because everyone knows you can’t c in the dark.

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"Officer, where did the hacker escape?"

"I'm not sure sir, he used the backdoor and ransomware"

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