Nothing beats a girl with a great singing voice

Except Chris Brown...

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Ted Cruz almost made America great again....

...but then the idiot came back...

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What do birds and traitors have in common?

They both fly south for the winter....

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Have you ever tried archery blindfolded?

You never know what you’re missing....

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Unexpectedly, an artist's wife started having sex with him every day.

Though quite unusual, he didn't question his luck, deciding to just enjoy the ride. One day, his wife approached him. "Honey? Can you sketch a picture for me?" "Of course!" he replied. "What should I draw?" "What you think our baby will look like." He stared back at her, eyes wide. Then, sighing heavily, he grabbed a pencil and pad, quickly sketched out a picture, and pushed it toward her. "What the hell is this?" she laughed, surveying the page. It was just a stick figure firing a gun at another stick figure, smiling, with no wounds showing on...

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I just opened up a fortune cookie and there wasn’t a fortune inside.

I thought to myself, “that’s unfortunate.” -True story...

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My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas.

The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic."...

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