A boy asked a beautiful girl in a library...

"Do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!!" All the people in the library started staring at the boy shooting daggers in his direction. The girl then whispered to the guy saying "I study psychology and I know what dirty men like you are thinking". The guy responded with a loud voice "$300 for one night!? That's too much!!" and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone gui...

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A priest is riding a cab

A priest gets a taxi. While driving, the taxi driver is being extremely obnoxious. Every time the car gets into a small pit in the road, the taxi driver says "Fuck!" or "Shit!". The priest is silent. Then they accidentally hit a pothole, and the taxi driver goes "Motherfucker!". Then they hit a crack in the road and the driver yet again goes "For fuck's sake!". The priest cannot handle it no more so he goes: "Sir, why are you cussing every time? Instead of swearing, say "May the Lord have mercy" and all will be fine!". They continue driving. For...

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Electrician comes home late

Wife: Wire you insulate? Electrician: Watt? I'm ohm now, ain't I?...

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Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada....

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A lawyer dies and appears in front of the golden gates of heaven...

He finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes. Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates. “I don’t understand" the lawyer said puzzled. “There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?" “Sir,” said St. Peter. “We’ve had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.”...

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"So you're saying that the entire universe, and everything in it, was created by one being? No way."

"Yahweh."...

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A young woman visits a florist to get some flowers for her mother.

As she's perusing, she notices the most gorgeous rose she's ever seen sitting next to the cashier, and asks for its price. "Oh, sorry," the cashier replies. "That one's not for sale. I got that as a gift from a fellow florist for hooking him up with a woman I met yesterday." "Yesterday?!" she gasps. "How did they hit it off so quickly?" "Well, he's a handsome man, a really nice guy, and apparently a wonderful lover. And to top it off," he says, leaning into a whisper, "I hear he's got a 10-inch cock!" She giggles, blushing. "Sounds like quite...

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