Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry are stuck on a deserted island, who survives?

Texas...

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If you had invested $1000 in JP Morgan in 1882, today you'll be

D E A D...

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In Alabama, we don't do "reverse cowgirl",

because we never turn our backs on family...

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Light bulb

Paddy and John are working on a building site. Paddy says to John, “I need a day off, I’m going to pretend I’ve gone mad!” Paddy climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, “I’m a light bulb! I’m a light bulb!” While John looks on in amazement. The foreman shouts, “Paddy go home, you’ve gone mad!” As Paddy packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well. Foreman says, “John where do you think you’re going?!” John says, “Well I’m not working in the friggen dark!”...

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What’s the price for mutiny in the sub atomic realm?

Walking the Planck....

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What do you call Joe Biden's mom

Joe mama...

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If you put Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry together in a room, who's the first to realize they're full of shit?

The room....

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