if you were sandwiched between your parents, and you were an inch deep in your mom, and your dad was an inch deep in you, would you move forward or backward to get out?

interviewer: we meant questions about the job...

Read More

A woman with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about miss ,we're only 5 miles from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'

'That would be straight down', he replies.........

Read More

A man is driving down a country road going 45mph, and all the sudden he notices a chicken running next to him.

He couldn't believe his eyes, how could a chicken run so fast? So he speeds up to 60mph to outrun the chicken, and after a few seconds the chicken has caught up to him! He simply can't believe it, he shakes his head and looks back and suddenly the chicken is gone. But no! He looks ahead and the chicken is in front of him now, and in addition to being impossibly fast, it looks like the chicken has 3 legs! The chicken turns down a driveway leading to a farm and disappears. Well, naturally the man had to follow the chicken to see where it went because...

Read More

A man heard his friend had lost two wives in two years. He felt bad so he called to give his condolences. He asked "how'd your first wife die?" "She ate poison mushrooms." "What about you second wife?" "She died of blunt trauma to the head." "Why would that have happened?''

"She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."...

Read More

Why cant zombies be arrested?

Because you'll never take them alive!...

Read More

Yo momma so fat..

She got triabetes....

Read More

There's a fine line between numerator and denominator.

Only a fraction of people will get this....

Read More