That’s like humans having a city called “Liver Pool.”...
Thứ Hai, 8 tháng 3, 2021
Chủ Nhật, 7 tháng 3, 2021
Three new cellmates are contemplating their life sentences in prison.
The first guy pulls out a deck of playing cards and says, "Don't worry, guys. I brought these cards with me so that we can play poker to pass the time."
The second guy pulls out a harmonica and says, "I brought this harmonica so that I can play some music to cheer us up when we're feeling down."
The third guy pulls out a box of tampons.
"What the hell are we supposed to do with those!?" ask the first two.
"Well, it says on the back that I can ride, swim, ski, and play tennis with these."...
A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began...
...One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so the following day and the day after that, until finally the retiree decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the boys as they banged their way down the street.
Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every...
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything okay, pal?" the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn’t going to talk to me for a month.”
Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know... a little peace and quiet?"
"Yeah. But today is the last day...”...
A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof.
So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough..there's an ad for "Alberta Bear Removers." He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old pit bull.
"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained...
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