Little Johnny is on recess playing on the playground when he see his dad drive into the woods next to the school.

Curious as to what his dad's doing, little Johnny decided to skip school to see what was going on. When he gets to the woods he finds his dad there with his aunt Jenny. Well aunt Jenny is on her knees helping Johnny's dad relieve himself. After school little Johnny runs home to tell his mom what he saw. " Momma, you'll never guess what I seen dad and aunt Jenny doing in the woods." Little Johnny's mom stops him right there and says, " wait til your father gets home to tell me the rest. Later at dinner, while the whole family is there, little Johnny's...

Read More

How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible...

Read More

What is a doctor who specializes in Adam's apples called.

A guyneckologist....

Read More

A man walks into a bar, and sees a huge jar sitting on the counter.

The jar is stuffed with $10 bills. There has to be at least twenty grand in there. Curious, he approaches the bartender. He asks, "What's the deal with the jar?" The bartender replies, "You put ten bucks in, and if you complete three challenges, you win the entire jar." "What are the challenges?" "The money first." The man's feeling game, so he fishes a ten-dollar bill out of his pocket and stuffs it into the jar. "Tell me," he says. "Okay," the bartender says. "First, you gotta drink a whole bottle of tequila in sixty seconds or less, without...

Read More

Insomnia is terrible. But on the plus side...

Only three more sleeps till Christmas...

Read More

A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.

Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river. "For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!", she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning. The man stood, shocked, before gathering his wits and muttering, "Well dam"....

Read More

Old Butch

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young laying hens, called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. Any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell just from listening, which rooster was never performing. John could sit on the porch and log a performance report by just listening to the bells. John's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen,...

Read More