I asked her how my baby cyst-er is doing....
Thứ Tư, 10 tháng 3, 2021
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'" asked the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, "Well. I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite donkey Bessie into the... "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'". Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Police officer on the scene that he was fine. Now several...
I was verbally harassed by two kids at the park today
So I told them off. Then their mother came over to me and said "Leave them the fuck alone! They're my fucking kids!"
Trying to think of a witty comeback, I asked her "Are they twins?"
She replied, "Of course they're not twins you fucking idiot, one is seven and the other is twelve! How could you possibly think they were twins?!"
I replied, "Well, I couldn't imagine anyone fucking you twice."...
There once was a mathematician.
He made it his life’s goal to tackle one of the greatest unsolved calculus problems in history. For months he worked, filling blackboards with numbers and lines, to no avail.
After a year of struggling, he was ready to give up. He pulled out the bottle of wine that was meant to toast his success, popped the cork and poured a glass.
After drinking it half way, he stood staring at his work, just hoping for some glimpse of clarity. On finishing his glass, he found a typo in an equation, and cautiously corrected it. He poured another glass.
Halfway...
Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers. He shakes his head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." He knocks on wood for good luck. He then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as...
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)