How does a non-binary samurai kill people?

They/Them

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The CEOs of Miller, Budweiser, Cours, and Guinness walk into a bar

The CEO of Miller says to the bartender, "I want the best beer you have, a Miller Lite."

"Oh no," says the Budweiser CEO. "Your head is on backwards. Me, I'll have the king of beers, a Budweiser."

"I'll have the only beer brewed with Rocky Mountain spring water," chimes in the Cours CEO, looking awfully pleased with himself. "Gimme a Cours."

The Guinness CEO thinks for a minute. Eventually he says "I'll have a Coke."

The other CEOs look at him, confused. "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"

The Guinness CEO sighs. "Well, I figured if you guys weren't drinking beer, I wouldn't either."

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3 nuns died in a car accident.

They reached to the gates of heaven but the person who let's people in said "so I know you are people of the cloth but I decided that I am not going to just let people in, I'm going to give you a test".

So he goes to the youngest nun and says "who was the first man on earth". Nun 1: "Adam" a hand reaches out and pulls her in.

He goes to the middle aged nun and says "who was the first woman on earth". Nun 2: "Eve" a hand reaches out and pulls her in.

He goes to the oldest nun and says "since you are the eldest you are going to get a hard question, what were Eves first words to Adam?" Nun 3: "that is a hard one". A hand reaches out and pulls her in.

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Tyrion walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass.

Madame: What can we do for you?

Tyrion: I need a woman to lay with, for mine has left me.

Madame: Whatever for? And what's with the honeycomb and the mule?

Tyrion: My woman found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wishes. The first was for a house fit for a queen, so he gave her this damn honeycomb. The second wish was that she have the nicest ass in all the land, so he gave her this damn donkey...

Madame: And what about the third wish?

Tyrion: Well... she asked the genie to make my cock hang down past my knee.

Madame: Well that one's not so bad eh?

Tyrion: Not so bad!? I used to be six foot three!

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Cops pulled me over on my bicycle today, and gave me a ticket for prostitution...

They said that they had seen me pedaling my ass all over town.

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Biden will NEVER get my guns

I keep them upstairs

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I recently wrote a sitcom about airplanes.

It never took off. The pilot was terrible.

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