I finally did it. I finally had the courage. I just released my own fragrance!

Nobody in the car liked it but I won’t stop!

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*At my boss's funeral, kneeling and whispering at coffin*

"Who's thinking outside the box now Karin?"

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My password is snowwhiteandsevendwarves.

They said I need 8 characters

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I don’t always enjoy jokes about cocaine.

But some one liners make me snort.

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What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?

Don't let him drive that cargo freighter,

don't let him steer that cargo freighter,

don't let him near that cargo freighter,

early in the morning.

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A man is walking home alone late one foggy night when behind him he hears: Bump! BUMP! BUMP! Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him...

BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER! FASTER! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP! Clappity-BUMP!

On his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in.

His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.

Bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and...

...the coffin stops.

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My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one

She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

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