but my hands are tied
Thứ Ba, 6 tháng 4, 2021
Lets face it English is a stupid language
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth. Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables. What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play, but yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day and as cold as hell on another
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where:
A house can burn up as it burns down
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out
English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts
But when I wind up this poem it ends.
Thứ Hai, 5 tháng 4, 2021
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."
"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”
If your partner confesses that they cheated on you......
If your partner confesses that they cheated on you, I know the temptation is to ask, “with who?“
But that's inappropriate. Avoid it.
Instead ask, “with whom? “ It is important to speak good English.
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