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Thứ Năm, 8 tháng 4, 2021

A nun walks into a bar

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while, the lights would go out. Each time this happened, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the patrons saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?”

The bartender replied, “Okay, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the restroom.

After a few minutes, the lights went out again and the nun came back out as the whole place stopped to give the nun a loud, enthusiastic round of applause.

She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”

“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender. “Would you like a drink?”

“No thank you, but, I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.

“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.”

My wife said she's leaving me because of my sexual fetishes

So I packed her clothes and left

I just got kicked out of flat earth Facebook groups

because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet .

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We're closed.

I hired a gardener because my wife said she would have sex with me after I got the yard work done.

Everything was going great then I tried to pay him and he said “your wife already took care of it”

This just keeps getting better.

Thứ Tư, 7 tháng 4, 2021

I just got kicked out of flat earth Facebook group...

...Because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.