I have no words to describe how angry I am.
Thứ Sáu, 9 tháng 4, 2021
Three women were having a drink in a bar...
They were all claiming they could make their husband scream the loudest during sex.
“Alright,” one of them said, “let’s secretly record the audio and see who’s the loudest.”
Two days later they came back to the bar.
They all smugly lit a cigar each, convinced that they had won the contest.
The first woman played her husband’s recording and it was very loud.
“How did you manage that?” The two women asked.
“A whip during sex.” She replied proudly.
The second woman played her husband’s recording and it was even louder.
“How did you manage that?” They asked.
“A surprise strap-on.” The second wife replied.
The first woman laughed, that one definitely couldn’t be beaten.
The third woman proudly played her husband’s recording and incredibly he screamed so loudly it had broken the recording device.
The two woman sat in awe.
“How did you manage that?” They asked in shock.
The third woman puffed up her cigar in triumph.
“I was having sex with someone else when my husband walked in on me.”
“With who?” The girls asked in shock.
“His Dad.” The third wife replied.
“That definitely explains the scream!”
“Of course it does, he’s been dead for ten years.”
Thứ Năm, 8 tháng 4, 2021
A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls.
A guy and his buddy are on the beach trying to pick up girls. The guy walks up and down the beach in his bathing suit and nothing. Nobody looks. He comes back to his friend and the friend says "try a speedo". So he walks up and down the beach in his speedo. Nothing. The girls aren't reacting. So his buddy says "take this potato and shove it down your speedo". And the guy does. He walks up and down the beach, and everyone is reacting. Hot girls, ugly girls, the surfers, a guy walking his dog, the lifeguards, everyone. The guy gets back and his buddy says "you were supposed to stick it in the front".
Two guys decide that they'd go out drinking on the night before their exam.
Wasted on the night before, the two arrive at the university well after the exam ended. They went straight to the professor, saying that they couldn't take the test because one of the car's tires had gone flat. Surprisingly, the professor allows them and promptly tells them to come back tomorrow.
The two take this chance to cram as much as they can, and they return to the professor, ready for the test. The prof takes them into separate rooms and hands over their test papers. Flipping it over, they howl in laughter, seeing these simple questions like "What subatomic particles make up an atom?". This is too easy, they thought.
Once they've reached the final question, the two guys' jaw hung loose as they read "For 90 points, specify which tire went flat yesterday."
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