Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast?

Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.

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My wife is one of a kind. She never says no to a shag, has great tits and even swallows.

But her bird collecting has gone far enough now.

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Why was the husband so worried after his lovely wife gave birth?

The dad jokes hadn't kicked in and the mailman was suddenly a comedian.

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A man has been stealing wheels of police cars

Police are working tirelessly to catch him

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I parked my car outside parliament. "Sir, you can't park here," said a cop. "This is where our politicians work."

"Don't worry, I've locked it."

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Where do lights go when they've been bad?

To prism.

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At this point I'm really hoping that Death is a woman

That way she never comes for me

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