He gulps them down quickly.
Bartender asks "What's the occasion?"
Guy replies "First blowjob"
Bartender "Wow, can I buy you another?"
Guy retorts "No, if 3 don't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will"
Thứ Bảy, 17 tháng 4, 2021
A girl comes up to her stepdad and asks to borrow his car.
The stepdad denies her so she begs and begs and begs until finally the stepdad says, “fine, I’ll let you borrow the car if you drop on your knees and suck my dick.”
Disgusted, she turns around and goes back to her room.
30 mins later, she comes back to ask again because she really needs to borrow his car.
He says “Ok, but you still have to suck my dick!” She agrees, “fine but you better not tell anyone!”
She drops to her knees and puts his dick in her mouth but instantly pops up on her feet. “Ew! Your dick taste like shit!”
The father then remembers, “oh that’s right, your brother has the car tonight!”
What to pick
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
A man walks into a bar and orders 5 Whiskeys and downs them incredibly quickly.
The barman says "That was quick!"
"You'd drink them quickly if you had what I had..." replies the man.
"Ohh, what's that?" said the barman sympathetically.
The man answers "no money."
The Marine on the Train
A Marine boarded a train on his way home from deployment. The train was quite crowded, and the Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed middle-aged French woman, but when he got there he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?" The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude.. My little Fifi is using that seat.." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that dog. "Please, Ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired." She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down. The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in his place!" An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)