Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Ba, 20 tháng 4, 2021

Wife said the grandkids were coming over for the first time..I spent five hours child-proofing the house.

They still got in....

What do Chris Hemsworth and Mike Tyson have in common after a workout?

They're both Thor....

If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water, before you go to bed.

That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning....

A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face. "Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily. "Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"...

I sexually identify as chocolate

My pronouns are Her-She...

George and Jim were born in the same hospital on the same day

They lived on the same street and they became the closest of friends, brought together by their shared love of football. Before they were old enough to go to school they'd play football together in the street. When they were at school they played in the school team together. When they left school they played in the same amateur league together. They were both season ticket holders for the same team and they had seats beside each other. As they got older they found it hard to get to the games so they'd watch the football on the TV together. Eventually...

me: I'm going to build a time machine

her [eating the last donut]: what you gonna use it for? me [eating the last donut]: righting wrongs...