Got a PS5 for my little brother...

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Best trade I've ever done!

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My wife is a sex object

Every time I ask for sex she objects.

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What do you call it when you get a boner at a funeral?

Mourning wood

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I got the words "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza" confused.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

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"Your sign outside says 3 strippers for 4.99... We talking topless or fully nude?"

"Sir this is Dominoes pizza. They're chicken strippers."

"Ok ok, now the price makes sense... How long is each dance?"

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Did you hear about the guy who burnt his house down buy overcooking a Hawaiian pizza?

He should have cooked it at aloha temperature...

I know where the door is.

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I phoned the wife earlier and asked if she wanted me to pick up Fish and Chips on the way home, but she just grunted at me.

I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.

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