Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Bảy, 1 tháng 5, 2021

I was reading a book on anti gravity last night.

I found it quite difficult to put down....

A man dies and is waiting to be transported to heaven

He asks Death about what happens next. Death replies "YOU WERE A GOOD MAN ON EARTH , YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN , WHERE YOU WILL ENJOY ETERNAL YOUTH , YOU CAN DO BASICALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT , ANYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES ". The man thinks to himself, "that's wonderful", and settles down for the journey. Death announces that he has to go and speak to St Peter and do the paperwork, so the man is left alone for a while in Death's office. He thinks to himself about what he wants to do when he gets there, he could eat all of the delicious foods he never...

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.

He says: I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I'll pay later. The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says: I need 50 pictures of Kim Kardashian. He gets them, and drives away with them. Soon, he comes back in a brand-new truck and new clothes and says: I need 100 pictures of Kim Kardashian. He gets them and takes them away. Soon, he comes back in a huge customized truck and designer clothes...

A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says," How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your...

My husband called me a p*ssy, and I had to remind him...

"You are what you eat." I've been a d*ck ever since....

There are 3 things that I love:

The Oxford Comma, irony, and missed opportunities....

I asked my wife, “I’m stuck on a crossword clue—Overworked Postman— can you help me?”

She said, “Sure. How many letters?” I said, “I’m guessing—too many.”...