Funny Story

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Thứ Tư, 5 tháng 5, 2021

A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each...

A statue of a man and a statue of a woman stood looking at each other for hundreds of years out in a park. One day a wizard, feeling sorry for the statues, brought them to life for 30 minutes. Right away, the two of them ran into some nearby bushes and you could hear all kinds of strange sounds from there. After a while they came back out, giggling. The wizard told them "You have another 15 minutes left, if you want to have another go." The statues looked at each other and the male statue answered "Fine, but this time you hold the pigeon and I will shit on it."

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?

Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.

So I went to the doctor yesterday...

And told him that my bottom hurts.

Doctor: Where does it exactly hurt?

Me: Right around the entrance, it’s really sore

Doctor: My advice is that for as long as you call it the entrance, it’ll hurt.

A woman ran screaming into the pro shop at the golf course...

"I just got stung by a bee between the first and second hole!"

The guy at the counter said "Your stance is too wide".

What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?

College

Bill and Melinda Gates woke up today and said...

May divorce be with you.

Thứ Ba, 4 tháng 5, 2021

Jesus walks into a bar.

He sees a Russian man with a glass of water. Jesus asks "My son, are you a believer?" The Russian replies "No." With a wave of his hands, Jesus changes it to a glass of wine. "Well my son, do you believe now?" The Russian frowns and shakes his head.

The next day, Jesus comes into the bar and sees the same man. "My son, are you a believer yet?" The Russian replies "No." Jesus waves his hands and behold! The glass again is changed to wine. "Well my son, now you surely believe?" The Russian frowns and shakes his head.

On the third day, Jesus enters the bar and approaches the Russian. "My son, are you a believer yet?"

The Russian looks up "If i say I believe, will you just leave my vodka alone today?"