I said no, I'd just go and live with my brother.
I asked her if she'd re-marry if I died.
She said no, she would just go and live with my brother too
Thứ Tư, 5 tháng 5, 2021
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A barman tells three regulars that he has a magic slide in the beer garden
Here's one I vividly remember being told by a kid in a playground when I was about 5 years old.
A barman tells three regulars that he has a magic slide in the beer garden. Incredulous they demand to see it for themselves.
When they get into the garden they see the slide is significantly taller than they were expecting, towering almost 40 feet into the air.
"How did we not see this from the street outside?" asked one of the regulars. "It's a magic slide dumbass," replied the barman.
"So it's just really big? That doesn't seem that magic," said another of the regulars.
"I got it from an Irishman," replied the barman. "He said it's home to a leprechaun who will grant you a wish as you go down it. All you need to do is to shout what you wish for when you are halfway down the slide, and then at the end of the slide you'll land in a big pot full of whatever you wished for."
The regulars are incredulous, but they decide to call the barman's bluff and try it for themselves.
It's a long climb to the top of the slide, and the three of them arrive sweating and gasping for breath. Being British, they form an orderly queue and the first one sits down and sets off down the slide.
Within seconds he's travelling at a tremendous speed and thoroughly enjoying himself. When he judges himself to be roughly halfway down the slide he yells out "Money" and when he reaches the bottom he lands in a big pot filled with £50 notes. Triumphant, he raises his arms and waves up at the two regulars still at the top of the slide.
The second sits down and sets off down the slide, gathering speed and waving his arms above his head with exhilaration. As he gets halfway down the slide he shouts out "Gold" and when he reaches the bottom he lands in a big pot filled with gold coins, miraculously managing to not break his legs.
The third sits down and sets off down the slide. He's seen the other two have so much fun that by the time he gets started he's really excited about going down this massive slide and has totally forgotten about making a wish. As he gets halfway down the slide he joyously exclaims "Weeeeeeeeeeeee" and when he reaches the bottom he lands with a big yellow splash.
A louse enters the employment bureau and says, "I'm unemployed, what to do?"
The clerk looks at the computer and says, "I can offer you a job in Danny's mustache."
"Great", says the louse, and the next day she goes to work.
Two days later she comes back, "I can not work in Danny's mustache - He smokes a lot, and I have asthma."
"Well", says the clerk, "I can offer you a job in Anna's pussy"
"Good", says the louse - and the next day she goes to work.
Two more days later the louse comes back and says, "I can not work in Anna's pussy"
"Why?" the clerk asks.
"Because I went to work, we went to sleep, it was warm and pleasant. In the morning I woke up in Danny's mustache - He smokes a lot, and I have asthma..."
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