The first one had a stroke.
The second one had a stroke.
And the third one didn't touch him at all.
Thứ Hai, 10 tháng 5, 2021
Rags To Riches Success Story
A real touching success story!
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.
One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?"
The man answered arrogantly, "Why are you so interested in that topic?"
The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
"What's your name? " asked the executive.
John H. Smith was the reply.
The CEO arrives at the bank and asked the Manager of the Customer Department: Do we have a client named John H. Smith? "Certainly," answers the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high net worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account."
The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience."
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members.
We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoe shine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him.
Mr. Smith began his story.
"I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.
I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.
After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent.
A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place.
Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a prostitute in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."
Little Johnny and the plumber
Little Johnny's parents have a plumber over to fix some issues in the bathroom. As kids do, Johnny roams around the plumber, commenting and asking questions.
At same point, the plumber takes out a screwdriver, and Little Johnny gets excited. "Hey, my dad has two of these. A small one that he fixes my glasses with, and a big one that he uses to fix stuff around the house."
The plumber takes out a wrench, and Little Johnny gets even more excited. "Hey, dad has two of these too! A small one that he uses to fix my tricycle and a big one that he uses to fix stuff on his car."
By now, the plumber is annoyed, and he has to pee. As he reaches for his zipper and he's getting ready to shut the bathroom door, he sees Little Johnny staring.
"Don't tell me your dad has two of these, as well"
"Of course he does" says Little Johnny. "A small one that he uses to pee, and a big one that he uses to brush mom's teeth"
At a party meeting, a Communist party officer is drilling a local worker.
He asks him: “Comrade, if you had two houses, would you give one to the Communist Party?”
The worker responds “Yes, definitely, comrade, I would give one of my houses to the party!”
Then he asks “Comrade, if you had two cars, would you give one to the party?”
Again, the worker says, “Yes, I would give one of my cars to the party!”
Finally, the officer asks, “If you had two shirts, would you give one to the party?”
“Nyet!”
The officer asks “But why? Why won’t you give one of your shirts to the party?”
The worker says: “Because I HAVE two shirts!”
In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship.”
“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a wall!”
A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study Maid: "I'd like a raise."
Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?
Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."
Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"
Maid:"Your husband.Third, I'm better in bed than you are."
Mrs. Smith:"I suppose my husband said that too?"
Maid:"No, the gardener."
Mrs. Smith:"How much do you want?"
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