An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Thứ Bảy, 15 tháng 5, 2021
Thứ Sáu, 14 tháng 5, 2021
A man says to his doctor "Doctor, I have an embarrassing sexual problem"
The doctor says "Tell me about your sex life,"
The man says "Well, first thing in the morning, the wife and I have a quick 'morning glory'. Then I go to work and about eleven o'clock my secretary gives me a BJ at my desk. I nip home at lunchtime and do the wife over the kitchen table, then after work I go to see my mistress from five until seven. Then after dinner my wife and I generally hit the bed early for a serious session, sometimes two or three."
"I see," says the doctor, "and what seems to be the problem?"
"Well," says the patient, "it hurts when I masturbate."
Railroad
A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"
The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."
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