So they can have a light snack
Thứ Ba, 18 tháng 5, 2021
An old man sits down in the confessional booth at his local church
and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned”.
The priest says, “Tell me of your sins, my son.”
The old man says, “Well, Father, I’m 90 years old; I’ve been married to my wife for 70 years, and in all that time I’ve always been faithful…. But last night, I made love to two beautiful 19-year-old girls! We did it three times!”
The priest says, “I see. Tell me, how long has it been since your last confession?”
The old man says, “Oh, I’ve never been to confession. I’m Jewish.”
The priest says, “So what are you telling me for?”
And the old man says, “I’m telling everybody!”
My girlfriend asked me last night if she was still as pretty as the day we met. I said of course! She frowned and said “You have to say that, you can be honest.”
She asked if I was as happy with her as ever. I said of course! She said again “you have to say that, you can be honest.”
She asked if I still wanted to be with her and only her. I said as long as her sister is still in a relationship.
Apparently I shouldn’t have been that honest.
There was a bus with 4 seats.
The conductor came in to check the tickets of the passengers. He noticed all the passengers were women.
He came up to the 1st seat. The lady sitting on the seat didn't have a ticket. The fine was 40$. But as she was wearing a very small skirt , the conductor only fined her 20$.
He then came up to the 2nd seat. The lady here also didn't have a ticket. But she was wearing an even smaller skirt. So he fined here only 10$.
3rd seat, same story no ticket. But this lady only had on a bikini. So he finded her just 5$.
He then went up to the last seat. He didn't fine the lady sitting here anything.
That's because the lady sitting on the last seat had a ticket.
After attempting to climb Everest and failing, John has severe frostbite, hypothermia and goes into a coma.
After a lengthy and dangerous mountaintop rescue he's rushed to the nearest hospital, where after several days he finally wakes and is greeted by the Nepalese doctor.
Sir, I have bad news and good news. John, ever the optimist asks for the good news first.
Okay, the good news is the patient in the next bed has offered you a very generous amount for your slippers...
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