A father and his young son go to a restaurant.

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking. Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help. A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee. At...

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What did the physicist say about the child that jumped off a building?

He had so much potential...

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Your mum is so slow

It took her 9 months to come up with a good joke...

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Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car...

Heisenberg, Schroedinger and Ohm are in a car... ... And they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies. The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!" The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?" "We do now, asshole!" shouts Schroedinger. The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resi...

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For son's birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar...

...and pays for 5 lessons. After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks "What did you learn today?" "I learned the first 5 notes on the E string." the son says proudly. After the second lesson, the dad asks "What did you learn this time?" "I learned the first 5 notes on the A string." the boy says. After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes. "Where the hell have you been?" Dad demands. "Sorry dad, I had a gig!"...

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I had a joke for Generation Z about Social Security...

... But they're probably not going to get it....

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Dad, a girl invited me over to her house

"Oh that is great, Billy. But you should be careful, you are young and an STD or unwanted pregnancy is going to be devastating. Please, remember to wear a condom if the situation arises... Actually, no. I don't trust you, son. Put it on right now, because at the heat of the moment you will forget." And so Billy did. And he head over to the girl's place. After a chat and some drinks, things got saucy. " Wait" she said, "In order to continue, you have to pass a test." She then removed her shirt, proclaiming "My breasts! Pure and untouched. Only...

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