I have a sore throat
Thứ Ba, 1 tháng 6, 2021
A man out shopping bought some new condoms.
When he got home, his wife noticed the brand. “Olympic condoms? What makes them so special?” she
asked.
“There are three colors,” he replied. “Gold, silver and bronze.”
“What color are you going to wear tonight?” she asked.
“Gold, of course,” said the man.
“Really?” she said. “Why don’t you wear silver—it would be nice if you came
second for a change!”
A man at work calls his house to check on his wife
A little girl picks up the phone.
"Hi honey, can you put your mom on the phone?"
"I can't, she's upstairs with Uncle Steve.""But you don't have an Uncle Steve."
"Yes I do. He's upstairs with mommy in the bedroom."
Getting angry, the guy keeps his voice calm and says, "Okay honey, this is what I want you to do. Go upstairs and knock on the bedroom door. Tell mommy that my car just pulled into the driveway."
3 minutes pass and the little girl gets on the phone again.
"Daddy, I did what you said and mommy and Uncle Steve started yelling and running around the room. Uncle Steve jumped out of the bedroom window into the front yard and I think he broke his leg!"
"Mommy jumped out of the other window into the backyard. I think she was going for the swimming pool but she forgot you drained the pool last weekend to clean it, and I think she's hurt really bad!"
The man pauses for a moment and says, "Swimming pool? Is this 328-7124?"
A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation
So the psychiatrist draws a horizontal line and asks him what that reminds him of. "A naked woman" he replies. So he draws a vertical line. "And this?" he asks "A naked woman." Doctor then draws an X and asks the same question. "Two people having sex." comes the answer. "Hmmmmm" goes the doctor. "It seems you have obsession with sex." he speculates.
"Me?" answers the shocked man. "Who drew all this filth?"
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