I thought to myself, "I'm going to get kicked out of Ikea any moment now."
Chủ Nhật, 6 tháng 6, 2021
Thứ Bảy, 5 tháng 6, 2021
An asian guy walks into a bar
He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer.
The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any of that shit?
The asian guy queries : why you ask this, is it because I am chinese? The other guy replies, "no it’s because you’re drinking my beer".
A Swede, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and their wives went to play golf one day. They were about to tee off on the first hole.
The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.
"Good Grief, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?", Ole demanded.
"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any."
The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too, is wearing no undies.
"You woman of mine! You've no knickers on. Why not?", asked Patrick.
She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me."
Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she too, is naked under it.
"Fur Jake's sake, Aggie! Where the friggin hell are yer drawers?", Duncan inquired.
She too explains, "You dinnae give me enough money tae be able tae afford any."
The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fur the love 'o decency, here's a comb... Tidy yerself up a bit."
NSFW - A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.
What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.
"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."
A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. In there, she found her husband watching the Super Bowl on television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him.
"What are you doing?" she exclaimed.
He replied............"Watching the game with my son-in-law."
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