...and said, "Stay away from him, he takes drugs."
That's sound advice, I thought to myself. I don't want him taking mine.
Thứ Tư, 9 tháng 6, 2021
What do you call a brand new Baby Yoda buttplug?
A Toy Yoda Pre-Ass.
I came up with this in a hot parking lot and it just stuck in my brain.
The Smiths were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and their descendants included senators and Wall Street wizards.
They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. They hired a fine author. Only one problem arose, how to handle great-uncle George, the criminal, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said he could handle the story tactfully. The book appeared. It said, “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution, was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock.”
I saw my dwarf neighbor standing at the bus stop this morning so I stopped him.
I said, "Jump in! I'll give you a lift!"
"Fuck off!" he said.
And I just thought to myself, "What an ungrateful person he is." So I zipped up my backpack and kept on walking.
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