Doctor: That’s the exit, as long as you call it the entrance it will hurt.
Thứ Năm, 10 tháng 6, 2021
Midway through sex my girlfriend's phone started ringing.
"That can wait," I told her.
"Hmm...It might be my boss," she replied.
I tried to get her back into our sexual encounter. "I'm your boss, baby."
"Well, you don't feel like him."
I've lost my dog since yesterday and my dad just tells me I need to look harder
So I shaved my head, got a leather jacket, a nose ring and I'm smoking a pack of fags. I still can't find this fucking dog.
Walmart recently installed a medical kiosk and for $10 it would diagnose any condition through a urine sample.
When my friend went with a sore elbow, the computer printout read "You have tennis elbow. Soak it in warm water and avoid heavy work for 2 weeks" Impressed, my friend wondered if he could fool the machine.
He mixed tap water with dog crap, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and then pleasured himself into the mixture.
When he put the sample into the machine the next day, the printout read: "1. Your tap water is too hard. Use softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Give it antibiotics. 3. Your daughter is on cocaine. Get her to rehab. 4. Your wife is expecting twins. Not yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you keep playing with yourself, your fucking tennis elbow won't get better!
"Thank you for shopping at Walmart"
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