You don’t turn your back on the family
Thứ Sáu, 25 tháng 6, 2021
A grandfather and grandson are taking a walk around the yard after a rainstorm.
Seeing worms all over the sidewalk the grandfather decided to play a little prank on his grandson. "Billy," he says "I'll give you ten dollars if you can take one of those worms and put it back in it's hole."
Thinking this to be impossible, he watched as Billy played around with a worm for a minute. Suddenly Billy drops the worm and says "I'll be right back" and runs into the house.
Billy comes back with a can of hairspray, grabs one of the worms and sprays it down until it's stiff enough to slip right into it's hole.
"Well I'll be damn." Says the grandfather, handing over Billy's money. "You know what son, I'll be right back." says the grandfather heading into the house.
About fifteen minutes later his grandfather comes out of the house and gives Billy ten dollars. "But you already gave me the ten dollars papa." Says a confused Billy.
"That's from your grandmother."
My girlfriend walked into the room and said “Do these jeans make me look fat?”
“do you promise not to get mad no matter what I say?” I asked
“Yes” she replied
“I fucked your sister”
Thứ Năm, 24 tháng 6, 2021
Mr. Dickson had a habit of asking daft questions to his pupils.
One day, he asked his 4th graders if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.
Kids came back the next day. No one knew the answer.
"Look," said Mr. Dickson, quite enjoying himself while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little 'zero'. "This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole."
"Ahh, right" said the children.
.
.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, "Mr. Dickson, my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in one hole."
"Hmmmm," Mr Dickinson said, "How do you put 7 holes in one? Well, I'll be darned. I don't know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?"
"Yes," said Little Johnny, He asked me to tell you, "Take a flute and shove it up your ass"!
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