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Thứ Năm, 1 tháng 7, 2021

What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper?

A seasoned veteran

Four men are at a high school reunion catching up.

Four men are at a high school reunion catching up. When one of them had to go to the bathroom, the other three start talking about how successful their sons are.

Guy 1: My son is so successful, he owns a car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari.

Guy 2: That's nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet.

Guy 3: Yea? Well, my son is more successful than that: he owns an architectural firm and he just gave his best friend his own castle.

The 4th guy comes back from the bathroom and asks

Guy 4: What are you guys talking about?

Guy 2: Oh, we're talking about how successful our sons are.

Guy 4: Well my son is a gay stripper.

Guy 3: Wow, you must be disappointed with what he's done with his life.

Guy 4: Actually, he is doing pretty well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet and a castle from his 3 boyfriends

what would a world without women be like?

a real pain in the ass

My friend said he couldn't pay his water bill....

so I sent him a "Get Well Soon" card.

Man and logic

So a man had three girlfriends and he needed to choose one of them to marry so he gave them each 5 grand to see what they would do with it

The first spent it all on herself- getting her hair done, nails done, outfits so that she could look amazing for him

The second took the money and spent it all on presents for him to show her love for him. She got him clothes and golf clubs and all the shit he liked.

The third took the money and invested it in wall street and tripled it. She gave him back 5 grand, made herself sexy and got him a bunch of gifts.

So the man had to think. As we do as men. We think a lot about things. And eventually he made up his mind. And did what any logical man would do.

He married the one with the fattest ass.

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.

- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks

- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently

The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:

- Guess I'm swimming then...

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding behind trees?

Because they're good at it