my family acted very hostile when i introduced them to my black girlfriend

i think they might be racist

especially my wife.

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CEO of IKEA is now the Prime Minister of Sweden

He is currently assembling his cabinet.

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How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?

The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?

edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.

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Robin tells Batman "I can't get the batmobile started"

Batman: check the battery

Robin: what's a tery?

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Reddit should rename 'share' to 'spreddit', 'delete' to 'shreddit' and 'karma' to 'creddit'.

Yet they haven't. I don't geddit.

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Jesus walks into a bar.

He sees a Russian man with a glass of water. Jesus asks "My son, are you a believer?" The Russian replies "No." With a wave of his hands, Jesus changes it to a glass of wine. "Well my son, do you believe now?" The Russian frowns and shakes his head.

The next day, Jesus comes into the bar and sees the same man. "My son, are you a believer yet?" The Russian replies "No." Jesus waves his hands and behold! The glass again is changed to wine. "Well my son, now you surely believe?" The Russian frowns and shakes his head.

On the third day, Jesus enters the bar and approaches the Russian. "My son, are you a believer yet?"

The Russian looks up "If i say I believe, will you just leave my vodka alone today?"

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This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks.

One almost caught our Christmas decorations on fire.

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