...considering the floor was lava.
Thứ Tư, 14 tháng 7, 2021
An injured American soldier is boarding a train to the hospital, but the train is full because a woman and her dog took up the last two seats.
The man says to the woman, "would you please mind taking up only one seat? You don't need two separate seats for you and your dog." But the woman refuses. Then the man tells the woman that he is exhausted from the war and is injured, the last seat on the train isn't too much to ask for, yet the woman still refuses.
The man gets extremely angry and forcefully picks up the woman's dog, throws it out the window, and sits down at the last seat.
A British man sitting next to him starts getting angry and starts yelling at the American solider, "You Americans have terrible manners and drive me crazy! Americans like you drive on the wrong side of the road, use the wrong measuring system, write dates in the wrong order, and most importantly, you threw the wrong bitch out the window!"
An older woman, well past child-bearing years went to a walk-in clinic where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the exam room, the doctor told her she was pregnant. She burst out the door, screaming as she ran down the hall.
An older doctor stopped her and asked her what the problem was, and she told him what had happened. After hearing her out, he sat her down in another exam room and marched back to where the first doctor was and demanded, “what is the matter with you? That lady is over 60 years old, has four grown children and several grand children! And you told her she was pregnant?”
The young doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without looking up, he asked, “Does she still have the hiccups?”
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship.
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him.
"Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
A 12 year old boy walks into a barber shop
Once he arrives, the barber turns to a customer and says "check this kid out, he's the dumbest person I've ever seen. Here, watch this".
The barber then pulls out a dollar bill in one hand and 2 quarters in the other. "Hey Johnny, go ahead and pick which amount of money you want".
The kid grabs the 2 quarters and leaves. "See I told you, dumbest kid ever" the barber exclaimed as he was laughing.
After the customer finished his haircut and was walking out the door, he noticed the kid eating ice cream across the street.
Feeling sorry for him, he ran over and asked "hey kid, why did you choose the quarters over the dollar?"
The kid then turns to him and says through a smile, "because as soon as i choose the dollar, the game is over"
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