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Thứ Năm, 15 tháng 7, 2021

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.

PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.

ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.

PRIEST: You forgot pride.

ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

A teenage immigrant boy comes home from school.

His mother asks him "How were your classes today?"

"Today we had sex education mama"

Shocked his mother replies. "What?! You go to your room and wait till your father comes home. He's going to have stern words with you."

When the father comes home and learns about his sons class he replies. "This isn't the old country, people are more liberal here, don't worry. This should be good for him."

Feeling bad she goes upstairs to apologise and finds him vigorously masturbating.

The mother says. "Luigi, when you finish your homework I want to have a word with you."

Monkey Who Does Great Sex

A young sexy woman passing by a pet shop saw a board -

"Monkey who does great sex".

She went in, bought that monkey & walked away with the Instruction Manual.

The Manual said 'Give a good bath to the monkey, then you take a bath. Make him sit on the bed and you lie down without wearing anything. Leave the rest to the monkey. Repeat all steps for repeat performance'.

Accordingly, the woman gave the monkey a bath, bathed herself and slept on the bed naked.

Monkey did nothing.

Disappointed, she again gave him a bath, had bath and lay down naked on the bed.

Again, the monkey did nothing.

She referred the Manual to check for forward path. It said : 'In case of no activity, call the shop owner for support'.

She called the owner & he arrived in 10 minutes. He asked the woman to lie down. He then smiled at the monkey and shouted...

*"I'm teaching you for the last time, watch carefully!!!!!!" *

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