Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Thứ Tư, 21 tháng 7, 2021

A worm climbs out of a plate of spaghetti and says…

that was one hell of an orgy...

It's just started raining really hard and all my wife is doing is standing at the window looking sad...

If it gets any stronger I'll have to let her in...

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!". The lion abruptly stops and says " Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can". Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what...

A reporter went to a small village...

And asked one of the villagers, "hey could you tell me a story about your village?" The villager says "well one time a neighbors goat got lost in the mountains, and we all got together to look for it, and then we found it. We all celebrated and drank and then we all had sex with the goat". The reporter looks astonished and says "My friend I can't make a report on a story like that, why don't you tell me a happy story" The villager says "Oh ok, well one time the wife of a neighbor got lost, we all got together to look for her and we found her....

A few minutes before the services started, satan appeared at the front of the church

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. "Nope, sure ain't." said the man. "Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan. "Don't...

A young boy says to his father "Dad, our maths teacher is asking to see you."

"What happened?" The father asks. "Well, she asked me, 'how much is 7 * 9?' I answered '63' , then she asked, 'and 9 * 7?' So I asked 'what's the fucking difference?' "Indeed, what is the difference?" asks the father. ''Sure, I'll go.'' The next day, the boy comes home from school and says, "Dad, have you gone by the school?" "Not yet." "Well when you do, come and see the gym teacher also." "Why?" asks the father. "Well we had a gym class today, and he asked me to raise my left arm, I did. Then my right arm, I also raised it. Then he asked me...

Thứ Ba, 20 tháng 7, 2021

On the sixth day

*ON THE SIXTH DAY... * God Creating Spiders God: Make it have 8 legs Angel: Seems excessive but OK God: And 8 eyes Angel: You need to calm down a li- God: Give it a bum rope God Creating Kittens God: make them fluffy & adorable like little furry hugs Angel: that’s so swee…. God: And put razor blades on their feet God Creating Mosquitos God: I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces… God Creating Bees God: Put a needle on it’s bum Angel: Come on God, what – God: Make it’s puke delicious Angel:...