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Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 7, 2021

My mate broke his leg so I went to see him at home. I walked in and what do I see? He had two gorgeous older sisters, and they're TWINS ! I had never met them before, apparently they live at the uni and were visiting.

Anyway, so I went up to my friend's room, “How are you mate?”

“Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my socks from downstairs. My feet are freezing.” he tells me.

So I rushed downstairs and found his two sisters perched up on the couch, right where his socks lay.

I say to them, “Your brother has sent me down here to have sex with both of you"

They respond “Get away with ya... Prove it.”

I shouted upstairs, “Hey, mate! Both of them?”

He shouted back “Of course both of them! What’s the point in fucking one?”

Why was 69 afraid of 70?

Because they once had a fight and 71.

Thứ Ba, 27 tháng 7, 2021

Anal sex and this joke: what do they have in common?

A misused colon

"G'Day mate, Aussie help line here..........What's the problem,.... Cobber?"

"I'm in Darwin with my Sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up."

"Bummer, mate...!!!"

"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that. Bye."

Why did princess peach begin to choke?

Because Mario came down the wrong pipe

What does McDonalds and your tinder hook-up have in common?

They don’t look as good as advertised but you’ll eat them anyways.

Why is Ireland the wealthiest country in the world?

because its capital is always dublin.