Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
Thứ Năm, 29 tháng 7, 2021
Two guys are in a bar complaining how they can't pick up any woman
When one points at a man sitting alone at the table. "Look at that ugly mug. We are both better looking, have nicer clothes and more money. Yet every night he take a woman home, sometimes two at the same time." "True that!" agrees his friend, "we try to talk to girls, get them interested in us. He does none of that, he just sits there entire evening, licking his eyebrows."
A little boy runs up to his father with a question.
"Daddy, daddy!" says the boy, excitedly. "Did you get shot in the army?"
The father looks away and grimaces. The pain is etched clearly on this face. He gets a faraway look in his eye, and a tear rolls down his face, as he says, "No, son..."
"...but I did get shot in the leggy."
Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 7, 2021
An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years
A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, "What? What did you say?!"
The environmentalist solemnly repeated, "I said if we continue the way we are that every man, woman, and child on earth will be gone in fifty years."
The man sat down in relief and said, "Oh, thank God. I thought you said fifteen years."
A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American jok. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.
Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”
Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know you’re a foreign spy!”
Smith: “WHAT? No! I’m a real American, I can name all 46 Presidents of the United States, in order, with the dates of their inaugurations and their Vice Presidents.”
Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”
Smith: “You’re all wrong! I can name all fifty states, US territories, and all their capitals!”
Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”
Smith: “Wait… I know every word of the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!”
Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”
Smith: “Ok, I submit, I’m a Russian spy under a fake name. But… how could you tell?”
Perry: “Because Americans don’t know any of those things.”
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