I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would you buy booze? He said no he hadn't had a beer in years. Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy hunting gear? He again said no, he stopped hunting 5 years ago.

So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home let you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.
He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter.
I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & hunting!

Read More

A farmer has dozens of cows and two bulls, but both bulls are too old to mate anymore.

One day the famer brings a third bull into the field. The new bull is much younger than the other two, and immediately starts mating with cow after cow.

When the old bulls see this, one of them starts huffing, snorting, and scraping the ground with his hoof.

"Don't bother competing with that guy," says the other old bull. "You're too old. He'd laugh at you."

"I'm not trying to compete with him," replies the first old bull. "I just want him to know I'm not a cow."

Read More

Today I saw two blind guys fighting...

Should've seen their faces when I said "My money's on the one with the knife"

Read More

I was watching the women's volleyball. 2 minuets in there was a wrist injury

Don't worry though I'm alright now

Read More

My wife said, “Can you have a talk with the kids on drugs?”

I said, “Fine, but I don’t make any sense when I’m high.”

Read More

Dude 1 : Hey, Bro? Dude 2 : Yeah Bro? Dude 1 : Can you pass me that pamphlet?

Dude 2 : Brochure

Read More

Where do bad rainbows go?

Prism

Only a light sentence

Read More