Three blondes are stranded on an island when a Genie appears.

"There are three of you so I will grant each of you a single wish" the Jinn tells the women.

The first wishes to be intelligent enough to escape the island so the Genie turns her hair Red and she then immediately swims off the island.

The second wishes to be smarter than the first. The Genie turns her into a brunette, she builds a boat and floats away.

The third wishes to be even smarter than the second so the Genie turns her into a man and he walks across the bridge.

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Sat down in a restaurant to eat dinner last night, and the waiter asked if I'd like to hear today's special.

I said yeah

He said, today is special.

I said, I can appreciate a good dad joke, but can you tell me about the menu please.

The waiter slams his notebook down on the table, and says, sir the men I please is my own private business.

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A man brings two ibuprofen and a glass of water to his wife of 30 years...

"What's this?" She asks.

"It's for your headache." He replies.

"I don't have a headache." She says.

"Oh good! So let's fuck" He replies.

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A man sits next to me on the train and pulls out his phone showing me a photo of his girlfriend on his background screen, and said “she’s beautiful isn’t she?”

I go “if you think she’s beautiful, you should see my wife…”

He goes “why, is she a stunner?”

I replied “no, she’s an optician”

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I was fucking my wife last night

I was fucking my wife last night when she looked back and said ”I’m feeling kinky tonight, turn off the light and stick it in my arse”. As soon as i did, she screamed.

Maybe next time i should let the bulb cool down first

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To the guy who invented zero

Thanks for nothing pal.

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A man accepts a job in a village with no women. Once there, he asks a local: -There is really no women here? -None. -So... How do you guys do when you need to have sex?

There is a donkey close to the river for that.

The man tries to ignore and go home, where he can see the river and therefore, the donkey. After months in that village, every day the donkey seemed a little more attractive, so one day when a few other men asked him if he'd like to go to the donkey with them, he accepts. When he is close to the donkey, the man puts down his pants and one of the other locals yells:

-What you doing!?

-Aren't we...? Going to do the donkey thing?

-We going to ride the donkey across the river so we can get to the other village where we can meet women.

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