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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Tư, 4 tháng 8, 2021

A soldier ran up to a nun

A soldier ran up to a nun, Out of breath he asked: "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police officer ran up and asked: "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied: "He went that way."

After the Military Police officers ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said: "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to war to Iraq."

The nun said: "I understand completely."

The soldier added: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"

The nun replied: "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iraq either!

The Italian Math Challenge

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using numbers, represent the number 9.'

'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says, 'Datsa easy.' and he proceeds to draw three trees.

'What's this?' the boss asks.

'Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,' says the Italian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.'

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . 'Ere you go.'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to represent 99?' '

Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.'

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Ere you go. One hundred.'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!'

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, 'A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree.

So now you gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?

(Sorry if you've heard it before.)

Two men, Joe and bob, both virgins, died and went to heaven.

God introduces them to the heaven! “Congrats, you get to enjoy eternal life in heaven. But you have one rule, never eat apples from the forbidden tree” As god pointed to the tree full of delicious apples.

“Uh, what happens if someone eats from it?” Asked Joe. God replies, “well, um, you’ll still be allowed to stay in heaven, I’ll just be very annoyed.”

God then says to the men, “I know you two have been virgins your entire life. So as a reward for all the good deeds you’ve done, I’ll find both of you a wife to enjoy eternity with in heaven.”

While god isn’t looking, Bob sneaks over to the tree and takes a bite of the forbidden apple.

God catches the man eating the apple and gets angry, “I can see you eating the forbidden fruit, but I can’t punish you or kick you out of heaven cause that’s against my morals. The only way to let out my anger against you is by getting you an ugly disgusting woman to be your wife; you won’t enjoy being with her at all.”

God then looks at Joe, the other man, and says, “Since you didn’t steal my apple, I found a beautiful and elegant wife for you. I’m sure you’ll love her, she will be the perfect match for you.”

Joe looks at his soon-to-be wife and says to her, “Wow you look stunning, I don’t think I deserve to be with someone as perfect as you” The woman replies, “I also don’t know why God assigned me to be with you. All I did was eat from the forbidden apple tree”

What do you call the fear of giants?

FeeFiPhobia

What do you call a license to cum?

A spermit

I'm sorry I used your soap to masturbate.

I just had to come clean.

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven: When they get there, St. Peter says....

....”We only have one rule here in heaven, don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says. "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - Very tall, long eyelashes.and muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says. "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says. "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"