Accordion to a recent survey, 7 out of 10 people don't notice when a word in a sentence is replaced

by a musical instrument.

Read More

"Dad, what does 'gays' mean?"

Me: You know how mum and dad love each other? Well, two men can love each other the same way.

Daughter: So what is 'penetrating gays'?

Me: Er.. read me the whole sentence.

Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze."

Me: Oh.

Read More

I told my wife, “You’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back.”

She said, “What do you expect — you’re in a wheelchair!”

Read More

Being a male pornstar takes a ton of dedication

No matter what you’re always working hard

Read More

Want to hear my latest joke about the Fibonacci sequence?

It's as good as my previous two Fibonacci sequence jokes put together!

Read More

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine...!!

The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had!!

Read More

After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because...

...they dilate!

Read More