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Thứ Tư, 25 tháng 8, 2021

Fifteen Bucks

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free.

So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc...

The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!''

So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.

The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked?

''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply.

''And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?''

''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.''

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?'' The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.''

The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went.

Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.

A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.

Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.

"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..

"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.

"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.

"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?

Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.

"What was that for?" asks the Jew.

"It's for the Titanic."

"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."

"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.

T-Shirt is actually short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt...

Because of the short arms

The best beginner pet is a Hamster.

They live for 5 days and don’t require any food or water.

I am really scared of encountering cougars when I go on a run

If I ever saw one , I'd Puma Pants .

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian

it was the least i could do for the poor fella

Thứ Ba, 24 tháng 8, 2021

What do you call kids born in a whore house?

Brothel sprouts