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Thứ Năm, 26 tháng 8, 2021
A man goes to see a psychologist
He sits down, and the doctor pulls out some cards with some abstract inky blots on them. "I'm going to give you a a Rorschach test, please tell me what you see."
He holds up the first one. The man says "a naked lady"
The doc holds up another one. The man says "a naked lady with a dick"
The doctor holds up a third and the man says "two men fucking each other in the butt".
The doctor then exclaims " my God, your mind is filthy!"
The man replies "My mind? You're the one showing me all these dirty pictures!"
Thứ Tư, 25 tháng 8, 2021
A woman goes to the doctor..
And she asks him: "Doctor, I always wanted to have bigger boobs, but I'm so afraid of surgeries. Isn't there any other option?"
The doctor remains silent for a moment, observes her from top to bottom, and replies: "Well, I think I might have something that can help you out."
"Amazing doc, what is it?" The woman replies.
"So, you take a bit of toilet paper, and every morning you rub it between your boobs for about a minute"
The woman looks surprised and asks him how that would ever work.
The doctor says: "I honestly don't have a clue but it seemed to have worked for your ass!"
A White Missionary in an African Tribe
A white missionary was visiting an African tribe. After a year of sharing the same village, the chieftain's wife gave birth...to a white baby.
The chieftain was enraged and called for the preacher's death. The missionary attempted to calm the chief, asking him to take a walk with him through the village to cool his head and talk about the situation.
As the men walked, they passed by a field full of sheep. All the sheep in the field were white save one, a little black sheep. "See?" the pastor said, pointing to the animals: "these types of things happen in nature from time to time."
The chief paused and seemed to be deep in thought. At last he leaned toward the missionary and whispered under his breath, "All right--I won't say anything about the baby if you don't say anything about the sheep."
Fifteen Bucks
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. All he needed to do was somehow get to the airport, and then he'd be home-free.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home. He offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc...
The cabbie said, ''If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!''
So the businessman was forced to hitchhike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck.
The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, ''How much for a ride to the airport,'' he asked?
''Fifteen bucks,'' came the reply.
''And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?''
''What?! Get the hell out of my cab.''
The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, ''How much for a ride to the airport?'' The cabbie replied, ''Fifteen bucks.''
The businessman said, ''OK,'' and off they went.
Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each of the other drivers.
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